


what is trust when it comes to you?

by pwjjh99



Series: la douleur exquise [1]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Cheating, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 16:30:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14573004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pwjjh99/pseuds/pwjjh99
Summary: maybe it was minhyun's fault after all, thinking seongwoo will always be his, thinking his best friend wouldn't snatch his boyfriend from him. maybe it was minhyun's fault that he trusted someone so much that even when the person break his heart, he still smile.





	what is trust when it comes to you?

**Author's Note:**

> \- for shaf  
> \- english isn't my first language, so bear with me :)

"minhyun, listen- "

"leave, seongwoo. please." minhyun pleaded as he shut the door even though he knew he didn't mean it.

but seongwoo left him, and as much as all the cells in minhyun's body tells him to hate the boy, he still hopes that seongwoo will turn around, knocking at his door one last time, saying that he is sorry. but maybe, minhyun asked too much.

maybe it was minhyun's fault after all, thinking seongwoo  _will always be his_ , thinking his best friend wouldn't snatch his boyfriend from him. maybe it was minhyun's fault that he trusted someone so much that even when the person break his heart, he still smile.

_two months earlier;_

"daniel, this is seongwoo." minhyun introduced seongwoo to his best friend. they decided to meet at starbucks near seongwoo's school because it's easier for the other two to go together. "oh finally I could meet you! minhyun has been telling so many stories about you for the past year." daniel extended his hands and seongwoo reached for them. "damn, he is really handsome." daniel said, still didn't let go of the boy's hands. "I know right, I'm so lucky." minhyun laughed as he parted daniel's hands away from seongwoo's.

"I'm going to get our drinks, you guys talk, okay?" minhyun asked and both of them nodded.

_maybe, minhyun shouldn't go get the drink. he should've stayed and let daniel take it._

' _they got close fast._ ' minhyun thought when he turned around, but he didn't felt jealous at all, instead he felt really happy that his best friend got along with his boyfriend well.

_maybe way too well._

days became weeks, and the three of them always meet each other and became closer. but sometimes, minhyun thought he was an outsider instead. whenever the three of them met, seongwoo would look so excited to meet daniel. "just for show" he said, but minhyun knew he was lying, but he still decided to believe the boy.

** three idiots group chat; **

**daniel: so this Saturday as usual?**

**minhyun: sorry, I can't go. I need to help my classmates.**

**daniel: hbu seongwoo?**

**seongwoo: if minhyun didn't go, then so am I. sorry!! ^^**

**seongwoo: wait, minhyun asked me to go so I guess I'm going?**

**daniel: you are at his house?**

**minhyun: he moved in into my house last month, daniel. I thought I have told you?**

**daniel: oh ya.**

_honestly, maybe minhyun shouldn't have let his boyfriend go but he did anyway, because he didn't want to look like he is overprotective._

minhyun's parents go to overseas for work often, that's why he let seongwoo moved in. ever since he moved in, he really became inseparable with minhyun. if there's minhyun, then there must be seongwoo. "seongwoo, your dinner is already served." one of minhyun's maid, seulgi said, as she knocked on minhyun's and seongwoo's shared room (there is another 4 empty room, but seongwoo insisted on staying in the same room as minhyun). "I'll eat with minhyun, thank you!" seongwoo answered from the inside. "you can just go eat, seongwoo. no need to wait for me, I heard your stomach grumbled earlier." minhyun, who sat on his study table, turned to look at seongwoo, who is lying on the bed. "nope!" seongwoo simply said and minhyun let out a sigh before he continued focusing on his biology work.

after an hour, minhyun finally finished his work, but seongwoo already fell asleep. "seongwoo-ah, do you still want to eat?" minhyun shook the boy's body slowly and seongwoo opened his eyelids a little but then he closed his eyes again. minhyun smiled as he ruffled seongwoo's hair a little bit before he went to shower.

"minhyun-ah, wake up!" seongwoo shook minhyun, a little too aggressive that minhyun almost got a heart attack. "what time is it?" minhyun asked, voice groggy. "5 in the morning!" seongwoo answered way too excited that minhyun can't bring himself to be mad at the boy. "and school starts at 8, seongwoo." minhyun was about to go back to sleep but seongwoo grabbed his wrist, making him sit. "I'm hungry." seongwoo said and he remembered that seongwoo went to sleep early last night that he didn't eat. "alright, I'm going to the toilet for a while, okay?" minhyun's left hand rubbed his eyes meanwhile the other hand ruffled seongwoo's hair as the boy nodded.

Saturday came faster than both of them expected. "can I not go?" seongwoo asked minhyun even though he knew it was his own choice to decide. "but you have promised daniel that you will meet him." minhyun patted seongwoo's hair. "i thought you are good with him? why did you suddenly doesn't want to go?" minhyun asked. "I don't know. I feel like he will separate us." seongwoo asked, avoiding minhyun's gaze, afraid that the boy will get mad but minhyun gave him soft smile.

' _so he thought so too_ ' both of them thought.

but at the end, minhyun forced seongwoo to go, when he actually  _should have let the boy stayed at home._

"minhyun, you should go home now. it's already 9 p.m." his classmates, sungwoon, tapped on minhyun's shoulder as he showed the clock on the wall. "but I still have some works left." minhyun isn't really the type to delay his works. "you can continue tomorrow, go home. I'm sure seongwoo is waiting for you." sungwoon smiled, of course everyone knew about his boyfriend. "what about you?" minhyun asked. "I'm going home too, my boyfriend will pick me up later." sungwoon answered as he groaned, "it's Sunday tomorrow but why we still need to go to school?!" but then both of them laughed.

the rain started to pour heavily when minhyun was about to exit the school compound. he was lucky enough that he brought his umbrella with him as he took out his phone.

to:  **seongwoo**

from:  **minhyun**

  * have you eaten yet? do you want me to buy something at 7-Eleven?



he tapped the send button and slipped his phone into his pocket again. a while later, when he arrived at the 7-Eleven, he took out his phone again to see if seongwoo has replied to him or not. but the latter doesn't even seen his messages.

' _ah maybe he already went to sleep'_  minhyun thought even though he knew seongwoo always sleep late on weekends so he just grabbed few snacks and coke for seongwoo and paid for it.

as he getting nearer to his house, his heart started to beat weirdly, as if its telling minhyun something is wrong but as a very positive person he is, he decided to ignore the feelings. when he got into his house, all the maids somehow avoided his gaze. it was weird because they always smiled at minhyun warmly every time he comes home.

"seongwoo-ah, I'm back." minhyun knocked lightly before he came into his shared room with seongwoo. he could feel that his breathing somehow stopped when he saw seongwoo. yes, it was seongwoo, it was  _his_  seongwoo, on their bed, but there's also someone else.

"minhyun-" seongwoo tried to call for minhyun but he already ran downstairs. "minhyun, wait." seongwoo grabbed the boy's wrist and he finally stopped. "we were drunk." seongwoo said simply, as if minhyun could forgive him, as if  _his and minhyun's relationship were worthless after all these memories._

minhyun pulled seongwoo in for a kiss out of blue, getting rougher every seconds. "I know you will forgive me." seongwoo smirked against minhyun's lips but suddenly, minhyun sobbed, gut-wrenching sobs that tore through his chest, as he pushed seongwoo away, wiping away his lips.

"you are lying, seongwoo." minhyun took a step back from seongwoo. "you guys weren't drunk, at least not you." minhyun continued. "minhyun, no-" seongwoo took a step forward towards minhyun. "YOU ARE LYING! YOU WERE SOBER SEONGWOO!" minhyun finally screamed.

"maybe it was my fucking fault that I trusted you so much, ong seongwoo." minhyun said before he left his house.

he didn't have anywhere to go, but he felt the need to run away. so he did, he ran and ran until he found himself in front of sungwoon's and taehyun's house. minhyun rang the bell once, and then twice until someone opened the door, it was taehyun.

"oh my god, minhyun! what happened? you are drenched and your eyes are red. come in." taehyun invited him in and let the boy sat on the couch before taehyun went upstairs to take new clothes for minhyun to changed into. "ah sorry, we only have this pair of pyjamas that suits your height." taehyun said sheepishly as he led minhyun to one of the room in the house, which is besides his and sungwoon's shared room. "sungwoon is in another shower room, I will tell him okay? you can use this room for tonight." taehyun smiled.

as soon as the boy left, minhyun closed the door and leaned against it. he cried hard, harder than when his pets died, harder than when he failed an exam that he studied so hard for. but then he laughed because, it all happened because a boy, who he trusted so much, who he thought will never ever, broke that trust.

minhyun sat on his bed after he had done with his shower when he heard a knock. once and then twice before he heard someone's voice. "minhyun? you are still awake?" it was sungwoon. minhyun wiped his tears away before he answered with a "yes."

sungwoon entered the room and sat besides minhyun as he took minhyun's hands in his. before he could ask anything, for the third time, minhyun bursted into tears again but at least this time, he got a shoulder to cry on. sungwoon pulled him into a hug, and minhyun cried even harder.

"h-hyung." minhyun started, head still on sungwoon's shoulder and sungwoon hummed as a response. "h-he cheated on me." minhyun's lips trembled as he cried even harder but sungwoon's hands didn't stop from rubbing minhyun's back. "with daniel." he continued, sungwoon knew who is daniel.

"oh my god, minhyun. I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry to hear that." sungwoon hugged minhyun even tighter, because he knew minhyun didn't deserve this, no one deserves to get cheated on. sungwoon's arms around minhyun's were too tight that it made minhyun couldn't breathe, but minhyun didn't care. he wished all of these were just a dream,  _that seongwoo is still his._  minhyun ended up falling asleep on sungwoon's shoulder so the boy laid minhyun down and cover minhyun's body with the blanket.

"minhyun-ah, wake up~!" sungwoon sat on minhyun's bed. "did you get a good sleep?" sungwoon asked as the other boy sat up, rubbing his eyes. "I made some breakfast downstairs, let's go eat." sungwoon ruffled his hair and minhyun nodded.

"where is taehyun?" minhyun asked as he took a seat besides sungwoon after he looked around the house. "he already go to his work." sungwoon smiled before he continued, "it's nothing special but here's some pancake and omelette that I made." he handed minhyun the plate. "oohh its yummy!!" minhyun squealed like a small child after he took a bite and sungwoon laugh, "glad you like it, minhyun. so you are still up for the work at school?" sungwoon asked and minhyun nodded. "okay, I will wait you at the living room at 10? I'm going to shower first okay?" sungwoon got up, ruffled minhyun's hair and leave. since minhyun already done with his food, he washed his dishes and went upstairs.

on average, normal days, minhyun only took 15 minutes to shower but on this day, he wanted to stay longer in the shower. minhyun liked it when the cold water hit his back, his body, his face. but even in that peaceful state, minhyun somehow bursted into tears. he suddenly thought of  _seongwoo_ , the boy really liked cold shower too, he always had been wanting to join minhyun in the shower but minhyun always insisted that it's 'unhygienic'.

_"minhyun, let me join you! please, just one time." seongwoo pleaded with his puppy eyes. "no seongwoo, it's really unhygienic to join someone in the shower." minhyun said. "but it's just a shower!" seongwoo insisted and minhyun gave a flick on seongwoo's forehead, "do you think I will believe you when you said 'only shower together'?" and seongwoo would reply with a grin._

45 minutes later, minhyun finally done with his shower and he sat on his bed, with a very wet hair and only a towel around his waist, he took his phone and stared on the lockscreen. it was a selfie of him and seongwoo when they went to m-countdown together few months ago. he wanted to text seongwoo, wanted to say sorry, wanted to move on with seongwoo, but he knew he shouldn't do that. so he decided to call the main maid, seulgi.

"mister minhyun, where are you right now? are you okay?" seulgi asked as soon as she picked up the phone. "i'm okay, thank you for asking. but I was wondering, where is seongwoo and daniel?" minhyun let out a small chuckle. "seongwoo is still in your room, daniel went home after what happened last night." seulgi reported. minhyun didn't want to care anymore about seongwoo, but he just can't help himself. "have seongwoo eaten?" he asked. "yes." seulgi replied and minhyun let out a relived sigh. "can you make spaghetti carbonara for lunch for seongwoo?" minhyun asked, seongwoo really liked the chef's spaghetti carbonara and he thought, maybe seongwoo will like it. "will you be here for lunch?" seulgi asked. "sorry, but i don't know yet." minhyun said before he put down his phone.

"minhyun, you need to stop thinking about seongwoo. let him go, he didn't care about you anymore." sungwoon said on their way to school. "I have stopped thinking about-" minhyun's words were cut by sungwoon. "stop lying, minhyun. didn't mean to eavesdrop but I heard everything you said to your maid in your room earlier." sungwoon said and minhyun turned to the slightly older boy. "b-but I can't let him go." "you can, minhyun. I put my trust in you that you will make a right decision."

minutes turned into hours, the boys finally done with their work at school and they finally headed back to sungwoon's home. "sungwoon-ah, I'm really grateful for you but I'm really really sorry if I am a burden to both of you and taehyun." minhyun suddenly said on their way back. "hey, it's okay. you can stay with us until you are okay with everything. taehyun agreed with it too." sungwoon said. when they reached home, minhyun suddenly felt that he really need to move on, forget about seongwoo, live his own life, everything suddenly hit him, that he is a lot more worth it than ong seongwoo.

"go shower and I will tell you when the dinner is ready, okay?" sungwoon said, putting his bag down. "let me help you." minhyun said but sungwoon already pushed him away saying, "it's okay, taehyun will help me. go get some rest." sungwoon ruffled his head and minhyun finally went to his room.

after a good 10 minutes dealing with his inner conflicts, he took out his phone, dialling seulgi's number. "minhyun master, will you come home tonight?" seulgi asked. "i don't think so." minhyun let out an insincere chuckled. "oh, did you made seongwoo carbonara? did he eat well? what will-" minhyun wanted to ask more but seulgi sighed and cut him. "yes, the chef already made seongwoo his favourite carbonara and he eat well. also, yes, we are planning to make hot turkey plate for his dinner. if you are going to ask what he is doing all-day today, since I have put the CCTV in your room after the fight yesterday, what seongwoo did for all-day is looking at his phone, precisely looking at your pictures. about daniel, he just- stopped coming." at this, minhyun smiled. seongwoo did care after all but he knew he really needed to move on.

"tell seongwoo to leave my house." minhyun said, trying to ignore the lump in his throat, he heard seulgi gasped but she still asked, "right now?"

"no, tomorrow. let him eat his dinner first, it's already night anyway." minhyun said and he could hear seulgi muttered something under her breath.

_'you still love him, after all.'_

and minhyun really wanted to say that he still loves seongwoo but then, he didn't see the boy came at him, begging on his knees.

honestly, it's really a good thing that seongwoo and minhyun doesn't go to the same high school, but then, daniel went to the same school as him, but luckily enough, he didn't bump into the boy the whole day.

"sungwoon-ah, I'm going to my home today. thank you for everything!" minhyun hugged sungwoon outside the school but sungwoon grabbed minhyun by the shoulder as he looked into his eyes, eyeing the boy suspiciously. "this fast?" sungwoon asked. "I don't know, I think its better this way." minhyun said, looking everywhere but sungwoon's eyes.

it's impossible to move on from someone that you really loves with all your heart even though the person cheated on you.

"I'm going to your house too." sungwoon tried to spin minhyun's around but the boy protested. "no? why would you want to go to my house?" minhyun looked at sungwoon wide eyes. "why? I can't?" sungwoon raised his eyebrows. "no! you can, but seongwoo-" "it's okay minhyun, I have seen seongwoo a lot of times already and I won't hurt him." sungwoon said and finally minhyun turned around.

the walk to minhyun's house only take them 5 minutes so they didn't talk much. "this is your house?" sungwoon pointed at minhyun's house, eyes went wide and when minhyun nodded, he automatically bowed 90 degrees. "why are you even bowing down?" minhyun made sungwoon stood straight. "damn, you are making me sorry for giving you such a minimum treatment while you came to my house." sungwoon said.

"minhyun master, you came back!" jonghyun, the second leader of the maid, hugged minhyun. "m-m-master?" sungwoon stuttered. how he felt the world worked differently for both of them. "this is jonghyun, he and seulgi are the leader of the maids in the house." minhyun introduced each other as both of them took each other's hands.  _  
_

as all of them were busy laughing literally in front of the main front door, seongwoo came out of his room. "m-minhyun? you came back!" seongwoo screamed, too excited that minhyun wanted to smile at how childish he looked. but minhyun wondered why in the world did seongwoo looked so disheveled, he was about to ask jonghyun wether seongwoo go to school or he just wake up. but then he saw the reason why seongwoo looked like that, or more precisely,  _who_  made seongwoo looked like that.

daniel came out of the same room as seongwoo, rubbing his eyes, looking so innocently as if he didn't do anything wrong, so innocent that sungwoon wanted to rip off his face apart. "what the fuck kang daniel?" sungwoon cussed, which then gained 2 pair of eyes on him; jonghyun, who obviously not used to cursing, and daniel, who is the main subject of why sungwoon shouted. but the other two person; minhyun and seongwoo, didn't look at sungwoon, instead they looked into each other eyes. minhyun really hoped that seongwoo said something, but the other boy just looked at him, his sad eyes pierced into minhyun's heart, but emotionless.

daniel came down hurriedly, passed by the other three at the door and went outside. "the hell? he didn't even say sorry?" sungwoon's blood boiled, as he went outside too, probably chasing the boy.

"what are you waiting for?" minhyun asked, eyes didn't budge from seongwoo. "huh?" the boy raised his eyebrows. "leave." minhyun growled and jonghyun was about to calm the boy down but minhyun glared at the boy, "don't. touch. me." he emphasised each words. "minhyun, no. listen-" seongwoo came down, walking towards minhyun. "the fuck you even want to explain more, ong seongwoo? you weren't drunk when you fuck daniel few days ago. you didn't call me, heck you didn't even text me, asking where I am. you see, I thought maybe you were just giving me some times to chill. I could have ask jonghyun to get rid off you, but I don't want to do that. why? because I'm giving you the second fucking chance. but instead of saying sorry, you fuck daniel again? what the fuck? at least if you guys are so fucking horny for each other, fuck at the hotel or something not in your fucking ex's house." minhyun screamed.

"i-" seongwoo started, he wanted to say something but he couldn't, because everything that minhyun said is true.

"minhyun, listen- "

"leave, seongwoo. please." minhyun pleaded as he shut the door even though he knew he didn't mean it.

but seongwoo left him, and as much as all the cells in minhyun's body tells him to hate the boy, he still hopes that seongwoo will turn around, knocking at his door one last time, saying that he is sorry. but maybe, minhyun asked too much.

maybe it was minhyun's fault after all, thinking seongwoo  _will always be his_ , thinking his best friend wouldn't snatch his boyfriend from him. maybe it was minhyun's fault that he trusted someone so much that even when the person break his heart, he still smile.

months after the incident happened, all of them finally graduated from high school. minhyun was holding his phone, looking anxiously around when sungwoon spotted him. the two (including taehyun of course) became best friends after minhyun and seongwoo broke up. "are you waiting for someone?" sungwoon suddenly asked, startling the other boy. "your parents are inside though?" sungwoon continued when minhyun didn't answer. judging by how minhyun looked really anxious and sweaty, when everyone knew minhyun doesn't always look this messy, sungwoon let out a sigh which finally made minhyun turned to look at him. "it's him right?" sungwoon asked and minhyun knew he isn't mad, but maybe disappointed? "no, who are you-"

"you are waiting for seongwoo, right?" sungwoon asked. "i'll take it as a yes, then." he then said when minhyun looked down instead of answering him. sungwoon pulled the boy into a hug as he patted the boy's back, "I'm such a disappointment, I'm sorry." minhyun sobbed quietly on sungwoon's shoulder. "no, you are not! it's okay, he is your first love after all." sungwoon said and minhyun sobbed harder.

**_'your first love isn't the first person you give your heart to - it's the first one who breaks it'_ **

  * **_lang leav_**



"minhyun, hi." a voice came out of nowhere and minhyun recognised that voice - of course he recognised it, it was the voice that he once loved to hear in the morning, the voice that sounded like a melody to his ears. "daniel doesn't come today though." minhyun said without turning around. "I came here to meet you, for the last time before both of us went to separate university." seongwoo's voice almost came out as a whisper and minhyun turned around but doesn't meet seongwoo's eyes. "I bought you some chocolates on my way here." seongwoo showed the contain in his paper bag and sungwoon could see seongwoo became a little bit hurt when minhyun hesitated. "take it, minhyun. you know it's expensive right?" sungwoon pushed minhyun lightly towards seongwoo as he chuckled, hoping it would calm down the tension a little bit.

"I'm sorry, minhyun." seongwoo said when minhyun stood close enough to him and minhyun could feel his lacrimal glands going to burst anytime soon. "I hope you will find someone better." seongwoo continued as he touched minhyun's shoulder. "then be someone better." minhyun gritted his teeth and left the boy alone with sungwoon.

"I really hate you for what's happening, but thank you though for coming. I don't know what you said or why minhyun just left, but just so you know, minhyun really hoped you came earlier. so thank you. I guess I will go too now? good luck for your university though." sungwoon sighed. "wait, minhyun didn't take this earlier, can you pass this to him for me?" seongwoo stopped sungwoon as he gave the boy the paper bag.

weeks turned into months and minhyun and sungwoon got accepted into the same university. "am I really going to spend the rest of my life with you?" sungwoon groaned when he saw his name under minhyun's name for roommates. "unfortunately yes." minhyun laughed.

"take care of minhyun, sungwoon." taehyun, who obviously came to send sungwoon, said and sungwoon groaned for the second time. "you should say that to minhyun! I'm your boyfriend!" he pouted and taehyun patted his head as he grinned, "I know." minhyun let out a small laugh when he saw both of the boys acted cutely with each other that it made him wondered, if he still with seongwoo, will seongwoo going to be sad if he knew they aren't going to same university? will seongwoo send him too like taehyun and sungwoon? he didn't even realized that he actually spaced out until sungwoon snapped his fingers in front of minhyun multiple times.

"hey, are you okay? you are spacing out." sungwoon tilted his head and minhyun shook his head, "ah no, just wondering some things." but sungwoon knew what he was thinking, that's why he (lowkey) asked taehyun to leave first. "I forgot that I still have work at the office, so, gtg first?" taehyun said, almost way too rushed that minhyun thought something is wrong but he just said, "okay." instead.

"I'm taking this one!" minhyun pointed at the lower bunk bed. "you are taller than me, yet you want a person who somehow have short legs to suffer? I can't believe you, hwang minhyun." sungwoon grumbled but still let minhyun took the lower bunk bed because as what taehyun said, "take care of minhyun." so he should.

for months, they grew closer to each other, minhyun became that happy-go-lucky person again and if sungwoon isn't his roommates, he would think that minhyun has totally forgotten about ong seongwoo. but the thing is, he is hwang minhyun's roommate, and sometimes, he would hear the boy's soft sobs. "miss your family?" sungwoon asked softly one day, thinking that if he asked in his normal voice, minhyun would cry harder. "no" the boy answered. well, of course he didn't miss his family, his family always out station and rarely come back home. "I miss him." minhyun said quietly but loud enough for sungwoon to hear him. as much as sungwoon wanted to say 'it's okay' to minhyun, of course he knew it's not okay, plus, sungwoon never experience it so he kept quiet.

"can I sleep besides you?" minhyun asked, neither of them remember when did they start to sleep besides each other, but it just happened. "yes, sure. come up here." sungwoon said as he moved slightly to give minhyun some space.

"I'm such a disappointment, oh my god." minhyun said as he moved closer to sungwoon's crook of neck. "minhyun-ah, we will always remember our first love because they will be the most painful lesson you will ever have to endure. I can't force you to move on from him, when the time has come, you, yourself will let him go." sungwoon hugged minhyun closer and they drifted into the dreamland as sungwoon held minhyun in his arms.

few months later, minhyun became the student ambassador of their university and he were asked to recite a poem in front of hundreds of people from their university and also from another university since he actually the president of the poetry club too. "I'm so proud of you." sungwoon faked his tears and minhyun almost smacked the boy with his thick-ass textbook. "should I invite taehyun too?" sungwoon asked, already taking out his phone. "invitation aside, what poem should I read in front of hundreds of people?" minhyun started to panic. "hey, relax. how about something that people can relate? like first love or something?" sungwoon suggested. "no? there will be like older generations too?" minhyun said, or more like asked. "yes, but they can relate to it obviously and then how about you explain to them why are you choosing this title or whatsoever."

as ridiculous as it sounded, minhyun actually took his time to read poem about first love.

the day finally came, and he was standing in front of hundreds of people; he could recognised about half of them since they are from the same university as him.

"good morning, I'm the student ambassador, hwang minhyun. today, I'm going to pick one title that I think most of the generations could relate to this, which is-" minhyun really thought today is going to be smooth, until his eyes landed on one of his audience, his stupid puppy love, "first love."

minhyun heard people were whispering saying it's weird for student ambassador to talk about first love, so he continued. "the reason why I picked this topic is mostly because, firstly, I'm pretty sure each generations could relate. secondly, even if some of you thought it's impossible for you to relate, trust me, deep inside we all have that one person that you really hate to let go." with this, the hall became quiet as minhyun continued, "so now, I'm going to recite the poem."

**'First Love;**

**I never was struck before that hour**

**With love so sudden and so sweet,**

**His face it bloomed like a sweet flower**

**And stole my heart away complete.**

**My face turned pale as deadly pale**

**My legs refused to walk away,**

**And when he looked, what could I ail?**

**My life and all seemed turned to clay**

**And then my blood rushed to my face**

**And took my eyesight quiet away,**

**The trees and bushes round the place**

**Seemed midnight and noonday.**

**I could not see a single thing,**

**Words from eyes did start -**

**They spoke as chords do from the string,**

**And blood burnt round my heart**

**And flowers the winter's choice?**

**Is love's bed always snow?**

**He seemed to hear my silent voice**

**Not love's appeals to know**

**I never saw so sweet a face**

**As that I stood before.**

**My heart has left its dwelling-place**

**And can return no more.**

  * **John Clare'**



"some were wondering, what is first love actually? based on a dictionary, the definition of first love is; A person that you will never forget, their love will leave an imprint on your heart which will be there forever. At the moment you dont care that you will eventually lose them after a break up because that emotion is amazing. Your first love will be one who will be the hardest to get over, the one that can still make you smile even when your having the worst day ever, and the one who after breaking you, you'll still love them. Your first love never leaves."

minhyun continued his speech and poetry, ignoring sungwoon, who has been acting dramatically when minhyun said something that he didn't understand. when the ceremony finally ended, sungwoon hugged minhyun, tight enough that minhyun's heart that is broken after he saw  _someone_ , came back in pieces together. "I'm so proud of you. that poem is amazing!" sungwoon started again his dramatic acting and both of them laughed but minhyun's laugh didn't last long when he saw someone walked towards their way and minhyun obviously started to panic.

"minhyun hyung, someone wanted to meet you outside." his junior, jinyoung, suddenly said and minhyun immediately turned and walked away as he grabbed jinyoung by the boy's shoulder. "oh my god, thank you so much jinyoung. I really appreciate you for rescuing me, seriously jinyoung-ah, I would do anything to repay you. god seriously, thank you." minhyun said fast, but jinyoung still manage to catch what he said.

"oh seongwoo, what are you doing here?" sungwoon, who had been left alone, asked. "I'm the president of the poetry club at my university so I was asked to come here, didn't know it was minhyun though." seongwoo smiled sheepishly. "you and minhyun still connected to each other somehow, I'm amazed." sungwoon said sincerely. "so, how was minhyun? did he gets enough sleep?" seongwoo asked.

"minhyun is okay though, maybe sometimes he cried at night, remembering memories about you. but he doesn't talk about you anymore, not like he used to. now when he hears your name, when I bring you up, he will cringe and for a moment you think that all the sadness of the world has been forced into this one body. then he will put on a smile, one that obviously forced it is nearly painful to see, and he will change the subject.

some days he looking out the window and you can tell it is you that he is thinking about. his eyes goes kind of sad and he looks hurt. that is how I know, that is how I figured it out. he doesn't like you, he loved you. He needed you to care, and you are a fool you don't." sungwoon said and seongwoo looked down, somehow he just realised how deep minhyun actually fell in love with him, but everything is too late.

"uh jinyoung-ah, I think you don't know what are you saying." minhyun said, a little bit taken back by his junior's words. "no, I know what I'm saying hyung." jinyoung said, looking into minhyun's eyes. "but-" minhyun wanted to protest but jinyoung cut him.

"you said you would do anything, right? then be my boyfriend, please? I have like you ever since I saw you on the first day of my orientation day and I also know about you and that seongwoo guy, that's why I helped you, hyung."

  


 

**Author's Note:**

> \- hi, so how was it? do you like the plot twist?


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